I used to think some people got it all figure out but something happened me the other day. As I realized that recruiters would ask me ' what plans for the future', I prepared a little script. Honestly, I have no idea what to do with my life either -wish I would get paid for volunteering or travel - so I just figured that since I studied Psychology, which is a very general major -especially since I don't want to be a Psychologist- I could get an entry job as a recruiter or junior marketer or to study a certificate in either of them. I went to so many job interviews that 3 days ago when a guy a met asked me what I wanted to do with my life, I said my script without thinking 'I'm planning to go back to school and study a certificate in marketing or human resources. If not, I'd like to get a junior position in either of them'-And he just looked at me and said 'Well, at least, you got it figured out'
And the little voice in my head went numb. 'No, I don't' - I thought to myself, but I only smiled.
What if the girl telling you about her future plans-making you feel so insecure- has actually convinced herself that she knows what she's doing? What if she thought 'Well, I have a few options so I'll just go with the least awful'
Honestly, I have noticed a trend... we are getting sick of this society- or should I say; society is sickening us?
All is about money, and businesses and superfluous shit and human beings are considered as just an extra pair of hands to get the job done. It is so ridiculous where we are so far. We are so desperate to get a job to the point of lying in a CV or a job interview to convince them you are what they need, you are that human being ready to answer angry customer calls, ready to be insulted, and ready to admit that you will hold your ground at all times because the customer is always right. You are the call center agent that is supposed to answer 'I never show my negative emotions at work (I was told to answer that in a job interview so I could get picked). You are supposed to be that person that stays overtime at work to get shit done, leaving your house at 8am and returning at 8pm. You are supposed to forget you were born to live and believe you were born to work to get the house of your dreams society wants you to buy, to pay the debts you owe so you could study and be useful to society, to buy that useless phone or clothing society made you believe you needed. Work until you can no longer move, until you are no longer of use because you are old.
We are so desperate to belong to this society to the point of not only lying to others but lying to ourselves too.
And you know what is the cherry on the cake? WE ARE THIS SOCIETY.
I want to live. I want to wake up to the sunrise because I want to and not because I have to. I want to connect with nature, its beings. I want to conncet with humans that feel the same way. I don't want to pretend I am competitive or better than others, as we are encouraged to. I want to move to the middle of a forest or near the beach, built myself a house and live on my produce. I'd give up my phone, my clothes, the few dollars I have just for some peace and quiet. Just to live.
I don't want to feel the need to belong to a sickening society. I was not born for this. You were not born for it either.
On the other hand, if you feel you love the way things are, if you love your current life : congratulations! But if you don't, you are not alone.
I wish we could create a community somewhere. A place, a sanctuary, where whoever feels like us or whoever just wants to rest can come and join us and stay for as along as they need, free of charges.
Let me know how you feel.
:)
with love,
Vangeline.
A piece of heaven in Cajamarca- Peru
